blogging daily life parenting who am I

Not Batman

Monday, 14 September 2015

It’s so hard to get back into blogging after a long summer holiday, especially now that the kids are back at school and life’s super freaking busy again.

My kids are way past the age where parenting them just means to feed them and to bathe them and to take them for walks. They are proper complicated human beings and parenting right now is all kinds of emotionally / mentally / physically exhausting.

Some of it is positive stuff of course – all the late night talks about drugs and sport and health and peer pressure, for example – but it doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting.

When you add up dealing with all kinds of school bureaucracy (my kitchen all is taped full of all kinds of schedules, I kid you not), monitoring/assisting with homework, peacekeeping (they’re boys, they fight a lot), preparing daily packed lunches, cooking dinners, tidying up #allthelego #allthetime, dealing with my mother’s opinions on everything (#alltheopinions #shelivesinmyhouse), having to download no less than NINE software programs and to view no less than THREE HOURS of tutorial videos with my 10-year old so he can do some complicated 3D coding, stressing about him starting to come home from school all on his own (I was totally not stressed about it until he said “What if I fall asleep on the bus and end up at the last stop at the end of the line?”) and the little things in my own little life like my job and my Crossfit and running habit – what you get is pretty much no time/energy/enthusiasm to blog.

I still do all the Crossfit and some running and bouldering but I’m also a little bit frazzled and a little bit tired and a little bit not setting any PBs in any area of my life right now.

I know it's best to be Batman but I'm still for some reason just myself...

I know it’s best to be Batman but I’m still for some reason just myself…

Usually I’m ok with just cruising, just doing the best I can and being average at everything. My main criteria for anything has never been to be perfect or to always set PBs or #GOHARDORGOHOME, it’s always been to just have fun.

But then I go for a run after school drop-off one day and while dragging my Crossfit sore legs up a gigantic hill, another mother from the school just sprints past me all the way to the top. She’s young and beautiful and a doctor and has 5 kids. The moment she passes me I feel like the ugliest and most pointless elephant on the planet.

And then Muriel goes and runs an ultra. And Jen runs an ultra. And Tess does a couple of triathlons in as many months. And Bangs starts writing for ELLE. And so on and so on…. and I’ve fallen into the biggest trap of all – comparison.

Comparison = the killer of all joy.

I think I need to ponder and meditate on this and I think my next post will either be “How to become Batman” OR “The Art of Being Average.”  I have a feeling it’s ok to sort of be a little bit of both. A little bit badass who’s focused on some serious goals (but not necessarily All The Big Goals) but also a little bit happy just to BE.

Anyway, I don’t really know what I’m saying. It’s late and I’m tired and I’ve got tomorrow’s packed lunches to figure out :| (my kids don’t eat sandwiches. #sendhelp)

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  • Katie G Thursday, 17 September 2015 at 12:00

    Reading this blog post has made me instantly happy.
    Why?
    Because it’s so darn good to know I’m not the only one who fall’s into the comparison trap. I am just average, I know this and I’m perfectly comfy with this and then something tips me…Everyone else seem’s younger, super hot, creative, able to fit in everything.
    Then I’m working out in a early morning daze trying to remember that I have the same number of hours in a day as these women and trying to keep in mind that I’m doing just fine.
    Reading about the lunches and school work etc does worry me, I really want a family and soon…but making lunch for the OH & food prepping for me is a big job alone..
    How am I meant to balance fitness, business, children, a life?…*mini mind explosion*..
    Ahhh I know..
    Best to keep smiling and know it’ll all turn out in the end :)
    If all else fails – Be batman!

    • MrsB Monday, 21 September 2015 at 15:36

      Stop making lunches for your OH right now! That’ll get him ready for when you have kids. He will have to manage on his own :)

  • Jem Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 08:46

    If it’s any consolation I’m completely failing to keep on top of work schedules, my daughter has only been back at school a week and I’ve already forgotten her PE kit once / lost an important letter and I’ve got a 10k at the weekend that I’m completely dreading because I’ve not moved off my butt in a week.

    We’ll get there x

  • Rai Ne Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 05:49

    Ma arvan, et juba kuu aja pàrast ei tunne sa end ùldsegi mitte enam “tavalisena”. Arvan, et ainult aasta algus on raske ning òige varsti oled valmis kòigega hakkama saama ja just nii, nagu sinule meeldib! Minu “milestone”-ks on nùùd hommikune, 6:45 àratus (viimati oli sellised numbrid àratuskellal 10 aastat tagasi) lol

    • MrsB Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 07:33

      Teie maal aetakse ka lapsed nii vara kooli?? Sa saad akki nad ara viia ja siis tagasi koju magama minna? :)

      • Rai Ne Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 20:38

        don’t tempt me! Lol

    • MrsB Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 07:36

      So wise :) I’m definitely letting the kids “swim” a lot on their own, I have no interest in actually doing their homework. Unfortunately it’s required that I sign their homework diary every day so I have to at least have a glimpse of what they’ve done. The 3D programming will take him forever but I will install all he needs and just watch the bits in the instruction videos that are about installation. It’s just annoying that he wants me to do everything NOW and I’m more of a mañana, mañana kind of a person :)

  • Noel Monday, 14 September 2015 at 19:33

    I’m totally going through something similar at the moment with trying to be content with not being a badass, and being ok with getting stressed out and finding life hard and overwhelming sometimes. You are not alone! Just let the wheels keep turning and when you are ready you can change the gears again.

    • MrsB Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 07:41

      Adulthood/parenthood = overwhelming. I like the cycling analogy though, the main thing is to keep the wheels turning (and just wait for the downhill bit or the wind to start blowing from behind for a change).
      P.S. Are you going to the Friday night guest event thing at the box? I’m dragging a few colleagues along :D

    • MrsB Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 07:45

      The lunches get a bit easier as the kids get older – my oldest pretty much eats everything now (other than sandwiches because they get soggy). My 6-yr old, however, didn’t touch his pasta yesterday because he didn’t SEE that his thermos was in his lunch box, and the day before he didn’t touch his soup because the baby potatoes in it were not peeled, and so on and so on :|

  • Muriel Monday, 14 September 2015 at 19:25

    I wouldn’t sweat it. Going back to the old routine is tough. As for the ultra, don’t repeat it, but I found my ultra less difficult than a marathon. Less pressure. And you have to stop! See you on Wed. x

    • MrsB Tuesday, 15 September 2015 at 07:47

      I have heard ultras are much more relaxed and friendlier than marathons. Plus you get to have toilet breaks :) They are still a freaking long way and if I attempted to train for one now my feet would just fall off.

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