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On the need to be validated by strangers and a few other things :)

Wednesday, 4 March 2015
wimbledoncommon2015

Gorgeous day for a run today. Too bad my legs were really sore from yesterday’s sumo deadlifts for me to truly enjoy it.

It was Christmas like 5 minutes ago and now it’s March. Madness.

I just bought a new bikini because July will be here any second now.

When it comes to blogging and life and Big Things in general, I’ve been thinking about two things mainly this week – is being active on social media always about the “need to be validated by strangers” and am I making the right decision by stopping taking my happy pills again.

About the first – it’s often the criticism I hear from people who stay away from the big scary world of the Internet. I personally happen to like the Internet. I have been happily oversharing with the Internet for 10 years. I don’t follow people on any social media channel who are meanies or bullies or spread false information about fitness or nutrition, I follow and interact with people who make me laugh, who inspire me and who make me reflect on who I am and what I’m doing.

Do I feel that I have a bit of that “need to be validated by strangers”? I have to say maybe a little bit I do. As we get older, we (women) get more and more invisible and that is weird to get used to. So maybe being online and also doing lots of new and fun activities in real life surrounding myself with fun new people I feel a little bit less invisible…

As for the second – I have been back on Citalopram for 11 months now and usually after about a year I can take a break and the anxiety/depression/whateveryoucallit doesn’t come back with a big boom the second after I stop the medication. I think I want to see how I get on through the summer. I don’t have anything against taking medication if that’s needed but I do want to see how I go without it once in a while. Just because I take such a small dose (10mg) and just because I feel kind of fine right now. Some days better, some days worse but I seem to be ok with the ups and downs so let’s just see what happens…

I know what would totally cure whateveritisthatIhave – Crossfit twice a day and a nap at lunchtime :)

Seriously though, I feel so freaking great at Crossfit. My mind is for once just thinking about one thing at a time and sometimes not even thinking at all – it’s almost on autopilot as my body sweats. It’s weird how something as tough as Crossfit can be so relaxing for my mind.

And talking about relaxing – I signed up for tonight’s Bikram class – the body that works hard day in and day out needs a good stretch and tomorrow I think I’m taking an actual rest day, like not doing ANYTHING kind of a rest day:|, ahead of Friday’s 15.2. If I cannot handle a whole day of no exercise I’ll go to Bikram again in the evening!

Over and out :)

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