health nutrition

Someone else’s rules make me feel trapped

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

whole-life-challenge

This Whole Life Challenge is still going and it’s doing my head it. Big time.

The first month was great but 46 days of not being able to eat out and eating very limited foods is hard.

I’m recalling how I’ve failed every single diet I ever tried (long long time ago) or how I always make up my own marathon training plans, and I realise that whenever I HAVE TO follow someone else’s plan my brain totally rebels sooner or later.

This is what’s happening now. I’m starting to feel trapped and my brain is needing to show The Plan who’s the boss. That means that I ‘cheat’ big time – I don’t just have a little bit of one ‘forbidden’ food – I eat all.the.things I have not eaten in more than a tiny quantity for years – processed cakes and questionable chocolate bars, for example.

Nine more days to go and then I can go back to eating the way I want to. Why do I not completely throw in the towel and eat what I want to now? Because it IS a thing I signed up to do and I will endeavor to see it to the end at least trying to follow it. Just because I’m doing it as part of a team, etc. etc. etc.

When I’m not traveling it’s not actually too difficult to stick to the very strict eating plan. But it’s not enjoyable anymore. I’m missing baking/making sugar free treats, I miss almond milk, I miss coconut milk, I miss Frank snack bars, I miss rice and quinoa, I miss a bit of wine now and then (although alcohol is actually the one thing I am missing the least).  I never used to eat crisps (chips, if you’re in the US :) but now I’m eating a whole bag of veggie chips (and not one of those tiny bags) almost every night because I can’t think of anything else to snack on AND because I feel like I need to live a little and not just snack on nuts and boiled eggs!  (On our way back from Bath last weekend I ate half a bag of peanut M&Ms in the car and then went for a run later on – my blood sugar plummeted and I struggled with dizziness and cold sweats for the first 30 minutes and then other ‘issues’ happened :|  I felt so stupid for eating stuff that I know messes with my running but like I said before – brain is rebelling big time).

Anyway. Live and learn. I will probably not be taking part of this challenge again. Or any other one that includes someone else dictating the rules for what I can and cannot eat.

I’m very happy making my own rules. I know what works and what doesn’t work for me.  I don’t feel the need to ALL THE CAKE if I live my life by my rules.

The brain is a weird and a wonderful thing.

 

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  • Triin Thursday, 30 October 2014 at 00:46

    haaa, I can totally relate. I have a rebellious brain as well. This post is so spot on.

    • MrsB Thursday, 30 October 2014 at 11:58

      It’s weird, isn’t it, how sometimes our brain does such weird things – that on one hand you KNOW that it doesn’t make sense to rebel like that but at the same time you can’t help it!

  • Tess @ FitBits Wednesday, 29 October 2014 at 14:21

    I’m totally the same – get all strict and keep to something for a while then have a massive dirty binge to stick two fingers up to it all and reward myself.

    This does look interesting though, do you have to pay? How long is the actual challenge? I’ll read through your other posts too they look good! x

    • MrsB Wednesday, 12 November 2014 at 10:03

      It’s 56 freaking days! Way too long I think (and you do have to pay). The Whole30 sounds better to me – just 30 days to eat super clean.