I keep on celebrating my birthday and eating chocolate :)
But even though I’m a little bit on cloud 9 right now following all the celebrations and thinking about how many great friends I have made here in London, I keep taking the Citalopram that I restarted 10 days ago.
It’s complicated to explain but the thing is that there are many things in life that are a matter of “mind over matter” and there are some things are not.
For example, running marathons is mind over matter, lifting heavy weights is mind over matter, staying calm when kids are having tantrums is mind over matter, giving up sugar is mind over matter, and learning to climb a rope / jump onto a 30″ box / speak a new language / etc. is mind over matter.
Depression, however, is NOT a matter of “mind over matter”.
Of course it helps to eliminate situations and/or people from your life who are causing you stress and anxiety, but often depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and no amount of positive thinking will fix it.
I have tried to think, meditate, exercise and eat myself out of this current black hole but I’m convinced that my brain needs a bit of a jump-start again. It tends to need that every once in a while.
At least it’s good to know that it’s my brain that’s a tiny bit faulty and that my D has nothing to do with the people I’m surrounded by :)