This week has been “different”. I have not gone to CrossFit or done any running since that 1.54km on Wednesday. I have felt ridiculously tired and a little bit broken. I have thought about sleeping all the time but the nights have been very interrupted due to children.
I usually get really cranky if I don’t get to run a few times a week but in that department it’s actually been ok. I realise that sometimes in life there are periods when I can’t run and I have to learn how to handle them. I have to learn to be active in other ways, walk a lot, take the stairs / walk the escalators like I always do, etc. And I have to learn to eat less when I’m not training for a marathon.
So it’s been ok, life has felt a little less hectic and I have felt a bit more rested. Then on Friday I happened to read someone’s blog post about not seeing any changes in their body after months and months of daily exercise and eating mostly just vegetables and meat. I commented that it’s not about quick visible results, that health and fitness is a journey that’s about feeling good in your skin, whether you have 24% body fat or 20% (both are totally acceptable so no reason to fret over the 24!).
Then after half a day I realised that my mood had gradually dropped to totally glum – I had actually started to think at the back of my mind “hmmm… I have not seen any changes in my body either… not in the lead up to the marathon… and neither in the 9 months that I’ve done CrossFit… maybe I should be seeing results by now??… maybe my upper arms should be defined by now?… what am I doing wrong??… is it he pizza I ate today?… is it the croissant I ate yesterday??… is it because I am not 100% gluten free these days??… is it because I just eat too much??”
I actually let myself to be in that negative mindset for most of the day.
Finally the voice of reason took over and reminded me why I exercise and try to eat well – it’s because it makes me feel good to be in my skin.
It reminded me that I never set out in this running or CrossFit journey to be ripped. I started it because I wanted to feel strong.
And that I have achieved. I feel strong, I feel fit. (less on the days I eat pizza though because gluten does bloat me so terribly :| ).
So I have been reminded that it’s not about visually looking like some ideal that probably doesn’t exist anyway (have a read of this brilliant post on the photoshopping of models that goes on), it’s about feeling good from the inside, now and for a long time (have a look at this amazing video interview with a 74-year old who radiates the energy of a 20 year old).
Tonight I’m feeling positive again and I will try to hold onto that feeling.
In the long run as long as we are aware and mindful of our bodies and how they feel, giving them rest when they need it or even giving them pizza when we haven’t had any in a long time – we will be fine.